I've been back and forth with decision ever since my 32 weeks appointment. I'm technically 33 weeks and 2 days today and I still trying to figure out which one to do. At my 32 week appointment last week I had an ultrasound and Nia is doing fine. She's 4 pounds and I forget how many ounces. The ultrasound tech said she's measuring a little big. I didn't get a chance to see my doctor for that day though I did return the next day. My doctor said it was OK if she's measuring a little bit big but if she is really much bigger for her week then we would have to looking into sooner options. Unfortunately she didn't have the results of the ultrasound present but she said if there was concern, I would be contacted. Since then I haven't heard anything but I do have another appoint on June 5. I told the doctor that I had been experience pelvic pain and she said that is common for this time in the pregnancy and also that I might be experiencing a little stronger pains because I had a prior C-section and the uterus slightly weaker. We also discussed birthing options, now that it's getting closer to delivery.

Now around 16 weeks pregnant I went to the doctor and I see different doctors in the same office and when I spoke to that doctor he said though the option of a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) is possible, he suggested that I schedule a C-section as there are risks like uterine rupture associated with VBAC's, though very rare, that could lead to a hysterectomy. In some cases, there is a emergency C-section that has to be done and in this case there is risk of infection and even death for the fetus and/or the mother. His information made we really think to get a scheduled C-section, though I remember how long and difficult the process of recovery was, and there's a risk of infection with that option too (He's against VBACs). The doctor I had recently said that it is very possible to have a VBAC given my circumstances (She's pro-VBACs). My prior C-section was due to an emergency for the fetus. May's heart rate dropped to zero, Rex said and I was put on oxygen and had to sit in different positions because she was not getting enough oxygen. The doctors then though the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. I got to 6 cm ofter almost a week from her original due date and I when into labor on my own, I did get an epidural at 4 cm. So with all that into account, my doctor from the last visit says I never really got a chance to see what my body can do. There is also the consideration of having more children. Rex and I are pretty much set on 2, May and Nia. If I get another C-Section, I'm greatly reducing my chance for more children and if I have a vaginal birth, my chances improve.

Talk about confusing. I searched VBACs after the first consultation and saw that there were many success stories, pretty much 60 to 80%  a success rate. This recent I was given a two packet with information about a VBAC and repeat cesarean in which I have to consent to either one. I do remember for the C-section in the hospital I had to sign papers. That was so quick though because they had to really get me into the operation room.

So what I'm really thinking about is the best option for me. I've spoken to Rex and he says the same. I'm just still trying to figure it out. Both have their pros and cons. To be honest, I didn't actually have a birth plan for May. I thought I would have a vaginal birth but I didn't want to be set on it knowing that things don't always go as planned. I feel this time I have to go into the delivery with more of plan, which I understand, it's just a little harder to decide. I didn't have a 2 and half year old running around before and with a C-section I know it'll be much harder for recovery. I know I will have help but moving in general is difficult after a cesarean and honestly it took me like a couple months to really feel like myself again. The VBAC sounds more pleasing because the recovery is shorter but considering May was about a week late and I never really had the chance to see what I could fully do. I also really think I'll have to get another epidural. With the repeat cesarean, I would know for sure when Nia is going to be born, unless she decides to come before the scheduled cesarean. I feel that even if I try for a VBAC there is the chance that I might have to another emergency C-section and depending on what size Nia final result is, I might not even be able to deliver vaginally. May was 8 pounds 7 ounces. In any chance though, it all boils down to a healthy child and mom. I know I'll come up with a decision soon. I have the consent form to give back to the doctor's office next visit.

I'm just hoping that either way, I have a safe delivery and we honestly can't wait to meet our growing baby Nia.