Earlier today, we lost my cat Tabitha. She was 18 years old. I've had her since I was 8. She had been getting real sick the past couple of weeks. She threw up at least four times almost every day and she had been getting skinner and skinner.

She was actually skin and bones. She was pulling her hair out and she was very disoriented. It was so hard seeing her like that. My mom knew we should put her down a few weeks ago but I was really in denial. It wasn't until just a few days ago, I realized she wasn't going to get any better. May wanted to play with Tabitha, but Tabitha being as sick as she was, just wanted to sleep and not really be active.

We all went to the vet around 12:00 pm and she was put to sleep around 1. I was there with her, along with my dad. My mom took May outside. They had to sedate Tabitha before the procedure and after she was sedated she seemed she was more at peace. She just looked forward and didn't even blink, she was breathing very slowly. Gosh she was so thin. I used to struggle with the carrier when she was in there because she was a big cat, when I took her into the building, she was literally light as a feather.

I was crying even before they took her back to put the catheter in her arm. I was trying to hold it together when the doctor began putting her to sleep. The doctor said we were doing the right thing. The doctor had taken a look at Tabitha in the back. The doctor said she might stretch or twitch, but Tabitha just laid there, very still. The doctor said she wouldn't close her eyes and she didn't. The doctor checked her heartbeat not too long after she started administering the injection. They asked if we wanted to stay with her and I shook my head. I lost it when they took her away.

We did get a chance to stay with her before the procedure. I told her how much I loved her and said I was sorry. I was remembering the times we had together. 18 years, the doctor said she had a long life, and she did. She was so active, even when she was a kitten. I remember when she would stay at the foot of my bed when I slept, or when she got so tired after chasing a string that she was gasping for air. I remember the times when she would sit on my laptop when I was trying to type. She was even walking on my keyboard a few days ago. I'm thinking about her now as I  type this entry.

I asked to get her cremated and they asked if we wanted the ashes back, which I replied yes. They also asked if I wanted a paw print made, which I do. I can't believe she's gone though. She was the longest living pet I've had. I had her when I was in middle school, high school, college, and graduate school. She was here to see my daughter. Though May most likely won't remember Tabitha, she was a good cat. A little mean at times, she definitely part of the family. I feel bad leaving her all those times I went away to school. I brought her to an apartment I moved into when I first moved down to Maryland, but when that didn't work out there, she stayed at my parent's house for the remainder of her life.

We'll miss you Tabby. We love you so much!