My little girl is not even two months old yet, but I feel so compelled to write how her birth has changed me. I went from not knowing how to change a diaper to changing about 10 a day. I went from being able to just get in my car and go, to taking the time to put her in a car seat securely and placing her in a car. Most of all I went to a newborn who completely dependent upon myself and my husband.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew that things would be different from before. I had seen pregnancy and I had seen children and babies but the experience of having a child of your own is VERY different from you see and hear. Every child truly is unique. May is truly our angel. She has brought so much joy into our hearts and in the hearts of our families and friends. She amazes me everyday with her developments and many times I find myself just looking at her and thinking "WOW". From her tiny hands to her tiny feet, her cries and all that hair, she was made by Rex and I and we are so happy she is in our lives.

It's true that it's not easy. There have been times were I have cried. Just from feeling overwhelmed, plus my recovery from the C-section was intense at first. I wanted to breastfeed, though I had no real clue as to what it entails. I figured that it wouldn't be that hard. It was. From so many people telling me various ways to do it, to not thinking she was getting enough to eat, to an extremely cracked nipple and engorgement, it was so painful and stressful! I pushed through the pain though and got into my own routine, taking what people had told me, but doing it MY way. Now I can say that I've been breastfeeding May for 3 weeks now and I have no plans to stop. I love the bond it creates between child and mother and it is one of the best things I can do for my child. I also pump because I am a working momma and although thankfully this semester I don't have any classes, I still need to go out and do my research on certain days. Pumping also gives Rex an opportunity to feed her as well.

Sleep deprivation has also made it not easy. I don't think I truly understood what people would say when they told me to rest up and take advantage of the sleep while you can. Yeah we went from sleeping through the night, to waking up at least 3 times a night, for feedings and diaper changes. When May when through her growth spurt at about 3 weeks. I was ready to pull my hair out. I didn't know what was wrong with her.  I was exhausted and she was crying so much. I know that there's many more to come and now I'm more ready, though can anyone be completely ready? I know too that it'll be a couple more months before she gets into a sleep pattern.

Last year I did not only become a mother but a wife too and trying to balance the two in such a short time has been difficult. There have been bumps. I blame my hormones. Hehe. I'm thankful Rex has stuck by me and is here for May.  I know it's been hard on him and we are both learning.  He has baby nephews and nieces but like myself, never had a child before. He is very hardworking and such a great father and we'll continue to learn together as we all grow together. I know we are both happy though we'll be approaching the 6 week mark.

I'm also losing that post postpartum belly. At my last weigh-in I was 132 pounds. My full pregnancy weight was 152 and my pre pregnancy was 120. Breastfeeding helps. I have an appointment on the 24th. I'll have to see how much I weigh then.

I'll write Part Two a couple months from now. It'll be interesting to see what I write then. Just now as I finished this blog post, May has fallen asleep on my legs. I'm sitting crossed legged. Of course I'm staring at her and smiling. She's the reason I'm a mom. What happens in life might be a surprise but I really can't imagine my life without her.